


the part of me I gave to you

by sci_fis



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Aftercare, Bondage, Dom Jensen, Dom/sub, M/M, Sub Jared, breaking up and making up (sort of), minor Jared/JDM (off screen)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 10:54:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20096089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sci_fis/pseuds/sci_fis
Summary: After several weeks of scening at Jensen’s private BDSM club, the boys call it off when Jared confesses that he can’t think of Jensen as just his professional Dom anymore; he wants more, but Jensen has never thought about an exclusive relationship and doesn’t want to start now.This is them meeting at the club when Jared finally decides to come back and do a scene with a different Dom. Jensen’s PoV.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't remember where the title is from. Let me know if it rings a bell?

Jensen knows he shouldn’t do it.

It’s a bad idea, a fucking terrible one, to look in on a professional scene between a Dom and sub, even if he does happen to be the owner of the club and is technically allowed to go anywhere in it at any time. But this is Jared. This is Jared’s first time back at the club since they… ‘broke up’ doesn’t quite cut it, since they never dated, were never in a relationship, but damn it, it feels so very much like watching a still-beloved ex with someone new.

In the end, he doesn’t even have to sneak around: the door is actually open, left ajar. He steps in.

The Dom, JD, raises his eyebrows at Jensen’s presence, but for that moment, Jensen’s gaze is just on the gorgeous submissive currently writhing in his restraints on the bondage table.

Jared is as exquisite as ever, securely hogtied with a spreader bar between his thighs, arms trapped helplessly behind his back, a fucking machine working his hole steadily. His ass is raised and the side of his face pressed to the padded table, a thick blindfold over his eyes and a broad muzzle gag covering the lower half of his face entirely.

‘Need something?’ JD asks. He’s holding a paddle, Jared’s ass already bearing its pink marks.

‘Uh…’ 

‘He can’t hear anything,’ JD says, nodding toward Jared. ‘Asked for the thickest ear plugs we have.’

‘Did he?’ Jensen frowns. Jared has always loved to be talked to during a scene.

‘Uh-huh. Didn’t even want to know who the Dom would be.’

‘Ah.’

‘Something you wanna tell me, Ackles?’

Jensen reaches for the paddle. ‘I’ll take it from here.’

‘Somehow, I expected nothing less,’ JD says wryly, handing over the paddle. He glances at his watch. ‘He asked to be released after thirty minutes. You have five left.’

‘I’ll remember,’ Jensen says, soft. 

‘Oh, and he specifically requested no aftercare.’ 

As the door shuts behind JD, Jensen finds his entire attention immediately focused on Jared, as though they’d never stopped meeting like this. He checks for the small alarm box clutched in Jared’s palm—always a necessity when Jared is gagged, a safe signal in case he needs to stop. Jared is holding it carefully, his thumb well away from the button. Tiny whimpers can be heard behind the tight gag, and he’s circling his hips, fucking back against the thrusting dildo as much as his bondage allows.

Jensen relaxes a little at the sight, satisfied for the moment that Jared is enjoying himself. He can’t resist running a gentle hand over Jared’s shining hair, messy waves spilling everywhere.

Jared immediately pushes closer, craving contact, and Jensen’s heart clenches. Jared has never had any other Dom but him, at least that Jensen knows of. No one knows Jared the way Jensen does, not when they’re like this, in their familiar roles, with Jared depending on Jensen to give him what he needs.

The thought that Jared had been willing to give the privilege of dominating him to someone else makes Jensen want to run to the nearest trash can and throw up his lunch. He swallows hard, fingers tangling tighter in Jared’s hair. 

_He specifically requested no aftercare._

The implications of Jeff’s words finally hit Jensen hard. He’d been so focused on checking that Jared was fine that the words hadn’t registered before.

‘I’m sorry,’ he mutters, even though Jared can’t hear him. ‘I’m so fucking sorry, Jay.’

Jared’s time is almost up, though, and Jensen’s damned if he isn’t going to give the boy what he came here for.

Moving closer, he takes Jared’s nipples, one with each hand, and rolls them gently between his fingertips. 

He’s done this so many times before, whenever Jared is close to finishing, that even if Jared hadn’t guessed he was there, he definitely knows now.

Jared responds as always, beautifully submissive as he arches forward into Jensen’s hands, begging unintelligibly through his gag as he’s done so many times before. So close. So fucking close and completely dependent on Jensen. The sight undoes Jensen as always, the things Jared asks for, the privilege he gives his Dom. 

He gives Jensen a reason to exist, to do what he does.

Quickly fastening the nipple clamps to keep Jared right where he wants to be, Jensen unsnaps the cock ring Jared is wearing and leans down to nose through Jared’s silky hair as he works Jared’s cock. Jared responds beautifully, thrusting helplessly into Jensen’s hand, his denied cock gloriously hard and glistening with his arousal. 

‘Come on, baby,’ Jensen murmurs into his hair, hoping Jared knows. ‘Let go for me. Good boy. Such a good boy for me.’ 

There are few sights more stunning than Jared thrusting desperately into Jensen’s hand while he’s being fucked hard, and as he begins to come, his voice a long, drawn-out moan behind his gag, Jensen tightens his free hand in Jared’s hair and holds on tight, knowing that having his hair pulled at the right moment is one of Jared’s foolproof kinks. Sure enough, his boy begins to moan even louder, his entire body arched taut. 

Because Jensen’s only human and his cock can’t stand another moment of watching Jared come apart without reacting in kind, Jensen thrusts against the broad edge of the table and comes in his jeans, shuddering. He finds the presence of mind to shut off the fucking machine before it hurts Jared and runs a shaky, soothing hand down Jared’s bare, glistening back as they come down from their high, Jared’s cock still cradled in Jensen’s hand.

He releases Jared’s mouth first, slipping the penis plug carefully out of his mouth before easing the earplugs out.

‘Jensen,’ Jared says, hoarse, lifting his face blindly.

‘I got you,’ Jensen says, cupping Jared’s face in his hands and pressing a light kiss to his forehead before tugging off the blindfold.

‘Thank you, sir,’ Jared says, eyes downcast.

Jensen can’t have that. ‘You okay?’ he asks, soft, running his fingers through Jared’s sweaty hair.

Jared just nods.

Jensen quickly gets a bottle of cool water and a straw, holding it to Jared’s lips and letting him slurp noisily before freeing him from the remaining restraints.

‘You came,’ Jared says. 

It takes Jensen’s sex-hazed brain a moment to realize that Jared’s looking at the front of his jeans.

He goes to his knees in front of Jared, gazing up at him and gently brushing his hair away from his eyes. ‘How was I supposed to resist the sight of you like that?’

The corner of Jared’s mouth quirks in a tiny flicker of a smile. ‘I should go,’ he says after a moment, attempting to stand up.

‘Easy,’ Jensen says as Jared sways a little, instantly on his feet with a hand cupping Jared’s elbow. 

‘I’m okay,’ Jared says, but he doesn’t pull away. 

Taking heart from the way Jared leans into him, Jensen presses a light kiss to the corner of his mouth. ‘You asked for no aftercare,’ he says quietly against Jared’s soft skin.

‘Yeah.’

‘Why?’

‘I dunno. I guess I just… I wanted to see if I could keep it professional.’

‘Aftercare _is_ professional after a scene at a club like mine.’

‘Clinical, then,’ Jared says.

‘C’mon, Jay. That’s not you.’

‘Maybe it is, now.’

‘Please.’ Jensen touches his fingertips to the small of Jared’s back. ‘Let me take care of you properly, like I used to.’

Jared moves away to pick up a robe and pulls it on. ‘We said we weren’t going to do that anymore.’

‘I need it as much as you do. Don’t you see? Maybe more than you do.’

‘Jen,’ Jared says, soft, exhausted. ‘Just… just let me go. Please.’

‘Okay,’ Jensen says, even though all his instincts are screaming the opposite. ‘Okay.’

He leaves Jared alone to shower in privacy.


	2. Chapter 2

Twenty minutes later, having cleaned up and changed, Jensen puts JD in charge and grabs his keys. He needs a long, long drive with the windows down to clear his head.

He stops short at the sight of Jared in the lobby. He’s sitting on one of the sofas, staring down at his phone. His hair, longer now than Jensen’s ever seen it, is still damp from his shower and curling around the collar of his long-sleeved shirt.

‘Jared? Hey.’

It takes a couple of moments before Jared realizes that someone’s speaking to him.

‘Hey,’ he says back finally, looking up.

Jensen fights the urge to ask him again if he’s okay.

‘Need a ride?’ he says instead.

‘I… Uber. I was gonna, uh… call a cab.’

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jared’s tone, the slightly dazed look in his eyes, his body language, everything suggests that he’s still very much in subspace. 

Jensen can’t see _any_ sub like this, much less Jared. He’s sitting beside Jared before he knows what he’s planning to do.

‘May I… sit here for a moment?’ 

Jared nods, looking at his hands. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘For what?’ Jensen asks gently, keeping his hands clenched on his thighs to keep them from reaching for Jared.

‘For… for not listening when you said you needed something. I… I learned from you that Doms have needs as much as subs, but I ignored yours.’

‘Sweetheart, that’s the last thing you should be sorry for.’

‘So there are other things I should be sorry for?’

It takes Jensen a moment to get that Jared is teasing him. ‘Brat,’ he says, soft.

Jared smiles. ‘I miss you,’ he says simply.

‘I miss you too. So fucking much.’

‘Can we… can we go back to the way things were?’

‘I don’t think so,’ Jensen says, and immediately regrets his choice of words when Jared inhales sharply, looking more shaken than ever.

‘I didn’t… fuck, Jay, I didn’t mean it like that.’

‘What… what did you mean, then?’

‘I want… I’d like to try what… what you suggested. Before.’

‘I… I didn’t really suggest anything, Jensen. I just… I didn’t even know what I wanted. I just know now that it wasn’t this. I can’t… I can’t stand not having you as my Dom. I… fuck, I need you so bad.’

‘I’m here,’ Jensen says. ‘I’m always here, however you want me. I swear.’

‘I don’t… I don’t even know what to say right now, Jensen. I just… I needed to hear that.’

‘I needed to say it,’ Jensen says, touching Jared’s jaw lightly, and that’s all it takes for Jared to lean against him. He presses his face into Jensen’s neck, his fingers clenching in the front of Jensen’s jacket.

Jensen wraps his arms around Jared and inhales the scent of his hair. ‘Come home with me?’

‘I can’t,’ Jared says, pulling back. ‘The dogs.’

‘I’d like to meet them, if I may.’

‘Tonight?’

‘If you’ll have me.’

‘There’s nothing I’d like more,’ Jared says, smiling shakily.

‘Thank fuck,’ Jensen says against his temple, lips pressed tight against Jared’s skin.

—

They get takeout on the way to Jared’s place. Unwilling to let Jared out of his sight for a second, Jensen stays beside him as he orders at the counter of his favorite Thai place, their shoulders brushing as they stand together. It’s the sort of domestic feeling that Jensen has rarely felt before. If he likes it, he knows it’s only because he’s with Jared.

—

After nearly getting knocked off his feet by two huge furry whirlwinds, Jensen watches with his hands tucked into his jeans pockets as said whirlwinds gobble down huge amounts of gravy food, their need for affection temporarily forgotten.

‘We should probably escape while they’re distracted,’ Jared says, smiling up at him from where he’s kneeling by his dogs, petting their heads.

Jensen shrugs, smiling back. ‘We can stay with them if you like.’ He reaches out and smoothes his hand over Jared’s hair. ‘I love how happy you look with them.’

‘It’s not just them.’ Jared tilts his head up to nuzzle against Jensen’s hand.

‘Look at you,’ Jensen murmurs, running his thumb over Jared’s lips. ‘So fucking beautiful.’ 

‘How hungry are you?’ Jared asks, looking up at him, keeping his eyes on Jensen’s as he kisses Jensen’s palm.

‘For food? Or you?’ Jensen asks, grinning. He knows Jared still needs to be cared for after the thorough fucking he took from the machine, but it’s heartening to see him looking so much more relaxed, easily affectionate with Jensen the way he used to be in the past.

Jared smiles broadly. ‘I think I have my answer.’

‘There they are,’ Jensen says with a happy sigh, bending to kiss each of Jared’s dimples.

‘You are such a fucking sap.’

‘What can I say?’ Jensen takes Jared’s hand and tugs him up into his arms. ‘You bring out the worst in me.’ 

They kiss lightly, sweetly. Part of Jensen is desperate to kiss Jared harder, to show him just how much he missed him, but there’ll be time enough for that later.

‘Hold that thought,’ he murmurs against Jared’s mouth as Jared moves to deepen the kiss. He pulls out his phone and scrolls to ‘Wild Horses’ on his playlist.

‘Really?’ Jared says, smiling so hard that his dimples carve lines into his cheeks.

‘Gonna do this properly.’ Jensen tugs him closer as they begin to sway to the song, loving the feel of Jared safe and happy in his arms.

—

Later, once he’s removed all of Jared’s clothes torturously slow, Jensen lays him out on his huge bed and kisses every inch of his body, taking his time, loving the way Jared pets at his hair, letting him do as he pleases. Jared’s soft, relaxed breathing is music to Jensen’s ears. 

He makes Jared come with Jensen’s tongue as deep inside him as it can get, his hands holding Jared’s cheeks open while Jared ruts against the bed, gasping Jensen’s name.

‘Good?’ Jensen asks, crawling up Jared’s body and pulling him into his arms.

‘I don’t even know my own name right now, but yeah. So fucking good.’ Jared reaches for a kiss and Jensen gives in immediately. They kiss languidly, Jensen’s fingers buried in Jared’s hair.

‘You haven’t come. Let me…’

‘Not yet. I’m good,’ Jensen promises.

‘Soon?’

‘Soon,’ Jensen says, smiling. 

‘In my mouth?’ Jared whispers. It’s something they talked about but never did before.

‘Whatever you want. Anything you want,’ Jensen says, between light kisses on Jared’s mouth. ‘Everything you want.’

‘Tie me up in the bathtub?’ Jared says, his face lighting up.

Jensen laughs helplessly. ‘You are fucking insatiable. And yes. Hell yes.’

—

He binds Jared’s hands lightly this time, wanting to give him what he needs but needing to be gentle, for his own sake as much as Jared’s. They use a light woolen scarf of Jared’s, Jensen wrapping it around the marks left on Jared’s wrists from his earlier restraints. He pushes aside the regret that runs through him at the reminder that he hadn’t been there for Jared, that Jared had had to ask for someone else to give him what he needed.

‘Hey,’ Jared says, cuffing Jensen’s chin lightly with his bound hands. ‘Stop thinking about it.’

‘Fucking mind-reader,’ Jensen says, affectionate. ‘Come here.’

They get into the warm water together, Jensen with his chest to Jared’s back. He takes his time combing water into Jared’s hair with his fingers, massaging Jared’s scalp lightly while Jared leans back against him, his body tucked securely between Jensen’s legs.

‘Don’t let me drown,’ Jared says, sleepy, his eyes closed, head against Jensen’s shoulder.

‘I won’t,’ Jensen whispers back, kissing the top of Jared’s head.

-end-


End file.
